My Turn Please

I would love to just have some adventure in my life. Would it be to much to ask for some random violence to escalate near my location and engulf me within its loving arms so I can have some fun and succeed at becoming a hero or villian. I don't know which way I would go. I can't decide if I want fame or power more. Actually I do know, and that is what scares the hell out of me. I would so go for the power, especially if I could get away with it and survive the onslaught of those who would go against me and my pursuit of happiness. That is right, power is what makes me happy. Too bad the authorities have made it illegal to possess. It would make them lose power and I guess that they wouldn't like that too much. I do possess power, right now as I write these words down because I have a brain and I know how to use it. My thinking process might be a little jaded, but the synapses are still firing and there isn't too many blanks. I do believe that things happen for a reason and with the life I have, I think God must be afraid to let me go to the dark side. That is where I live. This world doesn't possess the darkness that I consume and take for granted. I would love to write of this darkness, and maybe one day I will. Now I think is too soon. Too soon to let you in on the secrets of what I am thinking. The dark paths that my brain takes just to get me going in the morning. Is indifference a sin? I know it is what is on my mind most times. Should I care anymore. Who is this person and why should I feel remorse? Why am I like this? What made me this way; was it TV, was it my parents, was I born this way? Questions seemingly hard to answer because I don't know where to go for the answers. Am I the only one who feels this way? Life is what you make of it; right now I am educating myself by being a student but I am almost done. Once I am done, that remains to be discovered. What will I become, where will I go, what will I do? More questions; what the hell is the right choice. Is life this way on purpose? More questions. Can I never get away from these nagging internal questions? AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

Why can't life be like in the movies, that would be much simpler. I have seen a lot of movies. I like watching movies, but not as much as I like talking and writing. This seems more relaxing where movies make me more hyper; especially good movies or at least movies that I think are good; get the blood pumping kind of movies, make you want to cheer and root for that guy/gal in the movie. I just got done watching Crank and Crank: High Voltage back to back. I love how Chev just keeps going, nothing gets him down, just keeps going like the Energizer bunny, pun intended for those who have seens Crank: High Voltage. Yeah, and I love how Amy Smarts character totally got wiser from the first movie to the second. You don't see that in too many movies, the intellectual growth of a character. I loved it. Awesome. I wish my life was that exciting some days, where there is gunfights, car chases, beautiful girls everywhere in scantily clad clothing and bikinis. Yep, that's the life for me. I remember when I was a little boy and I first heard about a threesome and what it actually was, I told my friend that two women would never be enough for me, I am high, just like my mother taught me, I told him that six was the magic number. Me and six women, that was my fantasy. He just laughed. I just took pictures. He just cried. I laughed...

Then I told him the truth. The picture was a fake. I had no proof. I just walked away and I never saw him again. I honestly don't even remember his name. Too bad, would like to see what became of him. Maybe he will see this post and contact me by leaving a comment. It can happen; my mother told me so. She said, " You can do anything you put your heart into." and she also said, "Just believe, anything can happen." I love my mother and the confidence she has in me. She made me part of what I am today. She also would like some adventure in her life. Maybe when I become rich and famous, just working on the rich part, I will take her on her very own adventure. I am a good son. Honest.